Choose

What I learned today:

CHOOSE YOUR HERO.

MANNY VILLAR
Special skill: Maligo sa dagat ng basura at kung anu-ano pang shit.
Weapon: The rabid Loren Legarda.
Weakness: Fat paycheck.

NOYNOY AQUINO
Power: Summoning the dead, i.e. Mama and Papa.
Weapon: Kris Aquino.
Weakness: Resume.

JAMBY MADRIGAL
Advantage: The only male candidate. Oh, wait..he's a she?
Weapon: Anything within reach.
Weakness: Judy Ann Santos.

DICK GORDON
Power: Dick, duh.
Weapon: 6 inches of throbbing purple.
Weakness: Massive failure of erection.

GIBO TEODORO
Attributes: 200% Intelligence, 0% Balls.
Weapon: Airplane.
Weakness: Lack of spine.

NICK PERLAS
Specialty: Flow Charts.
Weapon: Flow Charts.
Weakness: The lack of flow charts.

JC DELOS REYES
Skills and powers: Unknown. Science has yet to explain him, as in "what the fuck is this shit doing in my ass?"
Weapon: N/A.
Weakness: Politics.

EDDIE VILLANUEVA
Power: Jesus Christ is his daddy, ergo, invulnerable. Can't beat this bitch.
Weapon: A flock of prayer warriors.
Weakness: Atheists.

ERAP ESTRADA
Specialty: Women. Practically anything that has a vagina.
Weapon: See Gordon, minus the condom.
Weakness: Women. Practically anything that has a vagina.