Because campaign season in law school has officially begun, it's about time that the candidates be put under a new [s]election system. The traditional way of voting—which is as prehistoric as the dinosaur paleontologists call "John McCain"—sucks.
In the interest of the student body, changes should be made. We need to find out who is made of steel and who simply wants a longer resume. We need to find out who has firm balls and who is just another invertebrate. We need someone who can castrate the law school boss using both hands, skinning his precious nuts like dressed chicken, and having them photocopied in Blessings. Besides, we need someone who is not afraid to tell him upfront that he should grow some hair. I mean, c'mon, bald? You're no gangsta. Your head only reminds me of Humpty Dumpty; I can't help but want to crack it open.
And because we want to know if they're just a bunch of nerds who enrolled in law school because the college library is the closest to heaven they can possibly get, we need to exile all the candidates in a house for not more than a month while we watch them on live TV. They'll put on a show for us, and we'll call it...
Hundreds of student-viewers. A bunch of Law Student Government candidates. One house. It's on, bitches!
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Suck it up good, bitches.