An Open Letter

To the man whose name reminds me of a king with the golden touch,

Now that you've spoken in defense of your colleague and against my beloved faculty, I can only write down my sentiments but still mindful, though, of the respect your office commands. So let me say this:

With all due respect, I would like to staple a copy of the ponencia on your forehead. I sincerely hope that having a copy of the decision right in front of your pupils will make you realize that you really can't defend this anomaly. It's like protesting that you're already circumcised when you know that you're not even a boy. But if the good and bright gentleman is really itching to scratch the issue of plagiarism off the record books, thy will be done. You alone can help yourself. But let it not be forgotten that people have broken their bones, too, in fighting a losing battle. It's not bravery. It's bravado.

P.S.
Fuck you po :)

Ctrl+C Ctr+V

But

It Will

Not

Need Help

Tight

Planting

So the next time your teacher asks why you slept during class, tell her you were busy planting an idea.

Ms. Freshman

The crotch of one of the contestants for Ms. Freshman was all over the place. The crowd loved it for some reason. The college secretary was there, too, but I could not tell for certain if he shared the same enthusiasm about the sight. There was this part where the contestant squat atop the college secretary's table. For the college secretary, the contestant's balls must have looked like an excuse slip waiting to be signed, or stamped.

"I'll sign them, but you'll have to get them back tomorrow. Or I can just mail them to your inbox."

Gone

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Cheer Up

Package

Lately, the professor has been repeatedly talking about two things. No, they no longer have anything to do with how the Viking warriors were fresh before they engaged in a sword fight, and how their swords could easily penetrate the flesh of man. Those naughty bastards.

One, he usually talks about his son who loved computers. Perhaps he is missing his family. And two, he insists that we use the computer in class each time he wants a definition of a term, or a brief summary of who did this and that, when and where, as if they have anything to do with Torts, or Damages.

Families and computers. I don't know, but I really want to seal my package and send it to him in a box. This package:

Nobody, as in Nobody

Facebook has more than 16 millions users. There are at least 32 million status updates in 24 hours. Somewhere in Facebook, Boy A wants Girl B, and Boy C wants Girl B, too. Somewhere in Facebook, Sister A wants to have Dog B, and Sister C wants Dog B, too. Facebook is a mess. If God happened to be reading all 32 million status updates daily, he'd resign.

Who's There?

Gramps

Here's the best advice that good ol' gramps can give all of us.

Kim Jong Il

Pick-up Lines

The easiest thing to spot is when a male lawyer hits on a female lawyer. Consider the following:

[Warning: Try them at your own risk boys]

[1] There's absolutely nothing illegal about your legs, which is why I've been taking judicial notice of them for the last five minutes.

[2] Lady, I swear by the grave of Oliver Wendell Holmes that those hips are a matter of transcendental importance. I'd stick a petition for a writ of habeas corpus on them any time of day.

[3] [Courtroom setting] Objection, your honor. The opposing counsel is too sexy for my party. I demand to see the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the naked truth. [And then he gets disbarred. What a loser.]

[4] God it must be too hot inside those jeans. I think I will have to file an urgent motion to intervene.

[5] You can't prosecute me for having an erection, can you? Can you? Can you? It's not illegal to have one right now.

The typical response from the female lawyer:
You know you have the right to remain silent. I'm sure you could use it right now.

Show Cause

Bar Exams Preview 2

What if the bar exams are held like the recent automated polls?

Results in seconds. Imagine that. No more novenas and offerings in churches while waiting for four months. It can save you a lot of money. Your local priest will be poorer, though. I'm sure God doesn't like that.

Bar Exams Preview 1

It's currently in the works. Soon, bar exams will include a multiple-choice test. Here's what I think of it:

Having One?

Someone in Facebook posted this:

"Why does it have to be so hard?!"

I was almost tempted to respond:

"Why, are you having an erection?"

The Ten Commandments in Law School

1. I am the Dean your God; you shall have no other gods before me.
2. You shall not take the name of the Dean your God in vain.
3. Keep holy the Sabbath day, but you will still have to study.
4. Honor your father and your mother, and your professor.
5. You shall not kill your professor.
6. You shall not commit adultery...with a hot professor.
7. You shall not sleep.
8. You shall not bear false witness or a child.
9. You shall not covet your neighbor's answers.
10. Repeat, you shall not covet your neighbor's answers.

Welcome Back

Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Breadfruit is back in business. We had a day of fruits and animals the class was almost a jungle. At the start, the lesson was still on track. But I had the strangest feeling the discussion would eventually boil down to demystifying animal crap as fertilizer. And boy I wasn't wrong. The man was like an agricultural manual on steroids for 2 hours.

A little learning is a dangerous thing, no doubt, but too much of the same isn't any different. Well, maybe slightly different. The danger of it is that it gives me something to write about. I should really be thankful instead.

Meeeeeehh

What I learned today in Sales:

A female goat is called a "goatee".

They're Not

Art of War

Lethal

If people are really serious about returning the ultimate penalty of death, I would like to propose a replacement for lethal injection. Instead of killing killers with needles and chemicals, I propose that convicts be put in a room instead. The room will have a TV and a DVD player. The DVD player will run Twilight Eclipse for a whole day until the convict dies from boredom.

No chemicals. No needles. Just pure boredom.

Same Banana

Wag na Wag

Psycho