The Road to the Finals

Twice

Back then, there was "My pamily, my pamily". Now, there's "Major, major".

Sometimes, people repeat what they say to stress a point. In some other cases, they are just confused. Sometimes, people repeat what they say to stress a point. In some other cases, they are just confused.

Victims

The policeman took foreigners/tourists for hostage that morning. His brother came to his aid, or so he thought, and went nuts thereafter. All hell broke loose by 9pm. Before the night was over, people were dead, and so was the policeman. End of story? On the contrary, it's just the start of it. But before this turns into a sort of eulogy from an apologetic, I would just like to say:

WHAT THE FUCK!?

Don't we have enough cheese burgers in the world to make everybody happy? Why hostage foreigners? Why not Gloria instead? I'd be damn happy if that would have been the case. I'd even go there and scream, shoot the fucking bastard! Thrice! Using the same bullet!

Nah, I kid you. I'm not crazy enough to scream at a police officer with a rifle.

But I would not dare laugh at the incident that happened. It's not a joke, like when you say your neighbor is too old archaeologists have dug ancient Egyptian pottery in her vagina. No, it's not like that.

Again, here's a few moments of silence to the victims of the hostage crisis...

























and of course...

for Lito Lapid, my favorite. Again, he is just too Kusher.

Male Restroom Etiquette

[1] Extend a helping hand

When you're taking a piss and you see another guy enter the comfort room and walk towards the urinal, tell him "hey, I'm almost done. I can give you a hand with that." Then slowly extend your hand. And then smile. This, by far, is the most polite thing that a guy can do to another guy. It goes with the Christian spirit of giving. Jesus himself said, "what you do unto others, you do unto Me," or something like that. I'm sure Jesus would be happy if you help him take a piss.

[2] Smile

If you and the other fellow at the next cubicle suddenly make eye-contact [yes, it happens], give him a smile. Remember, a smile confuses an approaching frown.

[3] Make friends

While taking a piss, strike a conversation. For example...
You: Wow.
Random Stranger: Wow what?
You: *smile*
Random Stranger: *confused*
You: Can I add you in Facebook?

[4] Give everyone a hug

Self-explanatory.

Memory Lane

Here's a walk down memory lane:

I had a class the following day. Part of the ordeal, as with any other class, is to read the cases assigned. That evening, I searched one of the cases assigned through Google. Having found the link to the case, I read it thoroughly and was, in fact, delighted at the facts and how the court ruled. I read it thrice just to be sure that I understood what I read. It was a bit short than the other cases.

That night, I got a bit excited. I went "oh yeah I am so nailing this case for tomorrow's recitation," or something to that effect. I even imagined myself standing up slowly after getting called to recite the case, with a bright aura shining behind me and a divine chorus of angels playing in the background all the while. I was able to sleep eventually.

So the day came and it was time for class. The case I got excited with was the last case for the day's discussion. Almost two hours went by, the class was about to end, and I wasn't called yet. I thought to myself, "fuck yeah, call me, call me." But somebody else got called to recite the case. I got a bit frustrated, but hey, maybe it just wasn't my day.

And it really wasn't.

As my classmate was reciting the case, I thought, "what is that case?" To cut the chase, I realized I read the WRONG case. So much for the adrenaline rush.

Good News, Bad News

Video

Hey, I saw your video on the internet the other day.

Clear as Daylight

What I learned today in Property:

Mother of All Bills

My favorite former president who never was president in my record books is about to file the mother of all bills. Representative Gloria "Hello Garci" Macapagal-Arroyo will be filing a bill that seeks to criminalize drunk-driving. You are drunk and you drive, you're a criminal, and you will have to pay P100,000 plus 1 year in Bilibid, or any decrepit prison your drunk ass will land.

Question:

You're driving a lawn mower and you've had 10 bottles of beer. Does that count?

Flashback

Flashback.

Angelo Reyes. From top brass military officer to Department of Energy Secretary, to just about any other post that a bootlicker can handle. You gotta love this guy.

If I become President and he's still around, I'd appoint him as my Presidential Adviser on Presidential Advisers of Presidential Advisers.

Can't Unplug

Cruz v. Magdayao Case Digest

FACTS
Johnny Lord Cruz and Shiny Magdayao had sex. It was so good that Johnny's "male chicken" [i.e. cock] had a fit of rage, thereby causing it to grow larger than what it would have looked like on a normal day in normal sunlight. But that's not really the meat of the story. "Meat". Get it? Anyway, so there it was, Johnny's horrifying monster inside Shiny's cute little receptacle hammering its way to kingdom-come. There was not so much of a problem, until Johnny had to withdraw his cash from the bank, in a manner of speaking [what?]. Unfortunately for him, he could not pull the plug out of the socket, for the truck was too big to exit the gate [what?]. In spite of repeated demands, Johnny refused to exit. He was enjoying himself. Hence, Shiny filed this complaint for unlawful detainer against Johnny.

ISSUES
[1] Whether or not the complaint for unlawful detainer is the proper action.
[2] If unlawful detainer is the proper action, may the court grant the same?

HELD
[1] Unlawful detainer is the proper action.
[2] The court will refuse, as indeed it refuses, to grant the action.

RATIO
[1] For all intents and purposes, Johnny's "male chicken" [i.e. cock] had prior lawful possession of Shiny's cute little receptacle. His actual and physical and sexual possession of Shiny's God-knows-what became unlawful when he refused to vacate her God-knows-what upon the expiration of the "lease". Or whatever. Shiny had one year to avail of the action. Since it has only been 300 days after that fateful night, Shiny filed her complaint within the prescribed period. In fact, Johnny's "male chicken" [i.e. cock] is still inside the "cage" up to this very day.

[2] Even if unlawful detainer is the proper action, this court will refuse to grant the same. Why? Nothing really. This court will leave these two little fuckers in the same situation where we found them.

DECISION
Dismissed.

New SCRA

Starting 2011, SCRA volumes will be released in their new format. Behold, the new SCRA:

No Shit

Movie of All Movies

At the Barber Shop

He's the Man

Pussy

Sniff