Poets

People are sometimes funny as hell. On several occasions, they are crazy they make you laugh and cry at the same time. But more to just being plain crazy or funny, some go to greater lengths and turn themselves into poets, like an ugly worm undergoing metamorphosis and turning into, well, a beautiful worm. Consider these riveting examples:

“BE MINE….AND MINE ALONE, and I WILL BE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE! I LOVE YOU FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FOR ALWAYS. AS LONG AS I’M LIVING MY TWEETIE YOU’LL BE!” - the unparalleled poetic remarks of Noli Eala [which sounded like a eulogy] as he tried a different kind of ballgame while Michael Learns to Rock's "25 Minutes Too Late" played in the background. [Guevarra v. Eala]

Mr. Castillo says "NOTHING BUT MUTUAL LUST AND DESIRE." The Court says, back the fuck up bitch—or something to that effect—it's "SEXUAL CONGRESS!". Apparently, the porn encyclopedia just earned two more phrases. This is why reading cases is hot. [Zaguirre v. Castillo]

Mr. Tapucar bemoans that “I have been ordered suspended by Supreme Court for two months without pay in 1980 for having a mistress, the same girl Ms. Elena Peña, now my wife [or so he thought -splice]. Being ordered separated in a later administrative case constitutes double jeopardy. IF NOW DISBARRED FOR MARRYING MS. ELENA PEÑA WILL CONSTITUE TRIPLE JEOPARDY, IF THAT'S THE LAW, SO BE IT!” Then he was shot on the head. Three times using the same bullet. Nah, I invented that last part. But I say, on this side of the world, we love martyrs. In fact, one was shot in Luneta. [Tapucar v. Tapucar]

Rejoice, thou Shakespeare, for thy days are numbered. Thou have some serious competition biatch.