Oblicon Hangover 2

For example, I sell you this particular horse:

And assuming for the sake of argument that it actually gave birth to a fucking colt, is the horse void?

Supreme Court says: YES, absolutely, because whatever you call that thing, it is outside the commerce of man. But if it is only voidable, then, by all means, we shall nullify it.

ObliCon Hangover

Sana ganito na lang yung written exam sa ObliCon:

***

How NOT to use what you've learned in ObliCon:

In my eyes, you're like a contract...I can't wait to extinguish you.

Your face reminds me of a public instrument that does not reflect the true intent of the contracting parties...it needs reformation.

***

In Good Hands

What I was not supposed to learn today in Obligations and Contracts:

Onanism is self-congratulatory, ergo, it's like congratulating yourself, but not necessarily for a job well-done. You congratulate yourself first. Then you say it's a job well-done.

Good Taste

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

If Miss Legal Profession has Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" for her ring tone, I learned that this is Mr. ObliCon's groove. I have to admit, the man has good taste.



They would have made a fine couple just using their preference for tones as basis. A monster for a wife and a clown for a husband—can things get any better than that?

Edit: This just in at 10:20 p.m. One classmate raised a good observation. Pansinin ang pagka-charantia ni Sir ObliCon 'pag nagkukuwento na tungkol kay Ma'am LegProf. I can smell romance nipped at the bud!

Edit: Ok, I suck. I may have been the last person to know, or smell.

Open Up

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

The professor said that the move to amend the Constitution sometime next year will open-up the bosom of the Philippines. I have one question...

You Can't

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

I can't. The junk must be inside the trunk.

Found It

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:



"Nemo, that gonad, now have it!" [sic]

Ah, gonads. You know your testicles are toast when they begin to look like a clown fish.

Google This

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

The professor was on high spirits as he discussed parts of the Roman law. I saw it in the way he seized every utterance with passion. Besides, he kept on insisting you Google this and you Google that, as if he was trying to lead us to something that could make us pick our jaws from the floor. I remember he said, among others, you Google Tribonian and see what comes up.

So, I did.

And I went...

It's...

Well, what do you know?

Pimp It

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

You know you can't be wrong in saying that the 1950s is an era to remember...


...when you still can't get over the Toyota Toyopet even after 60 years. It's just like remembering your very first menstruation and wondering why you have to smile as you still figure out the possibility of bleeding when you don't even have a vagina in the first place.

Moses

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

We talked about why Paris used to be the city of lights, and why Nikola Tesla was dying to coil Thomas Edison's ass way up his head and have it patented as the light bulb. Or he could have simply put Edison's head between his butt cheeks and give the invention a fancy name, like "the assimilator," an ass that sucks in solid matter within striking range.

I remember now that the professor also likes to talk about history and religion. On a Thursday, he can talk about religion all the way to kingdom come. On a Wednesday, he can talk about history more than anything else. But on a Tuesday, he does both.

For three seconds, he was Moses.


Lesson learned.

Can They?

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

Time: 12:45 p.m.
Location: Classroom.

Can 3 people prolong everybody's agony in class—which was supposed to have ended 45 minutes ago—by throwing questions and answers that have nothing to do with lunch?






















Well, apparently...






























Another lesson learned.

Update:

NaNO3 is God

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

The professor is right. Sodium nitrate is in everything that we eat. God must have been so jealous he finally decided to appear on your morning burrito.

Avoiding sodium nitrate is practically retarded. If you do try to avoid it, you'll die of anorexia—an eating disorder that will make you look like you've had too much liposuction for lunch and you still want one for dessert.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my banana garden and caress my plants.

He Watches Her

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

Yes, he watches her films.

Another lesson learned.

Bad Ass

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

Once upon a time, a wise man once said that there are three kinds of people—those who know how to count, and those who obviously can't. Apparently, it took more than two centuries and one Asian to help us understand why.















Here it is:

































Ladies and gentlemen, we have an Einstein-in-the-making. I bet no writ of mandamus can save us now.

One bad ass lesson learned.

Power of the Comma

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

Today, we talked about the power of punctuation marks. If a misreading of one comma in the Civil Code can confuse your professor, you can just imagine the tragedy that four commas in a single provision can do. To illustrate, he was so confused he preferred to talk about Sesame Street instead.

Apparently, Big Bird had very few choices in life, and this is not even one of them.

Ah, the joy of law school. Another lesson learned.

Assorted Shit

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

1) You cannot just bulldoze squatters away, even if your father, Mr. Fernando, named you Bayani. It's the surest path to not being a hero.

2) Japanese war notes are an arsonist's best friend. They are excellent for kindling fire, among others.

3) In 1961, a house stood right smack in the middle of Quezon Avenue. The drivers, who were so alive back then, weren't so thrilled. Some of them are now dead. But as fate would have it, some others were strong enough to live and tell the tale, preferably in law school.

4) And finally, farmers are not only fine smokers. They are also the best economists. They roll their tobacco on "Grade 1" paper. Maybe "Grade 2" paper does not taste as good.

***

Overheard somewhere in the college building.

Classmate 1: (Sees Classmate 2 approaching) Hey, where are you going? Don't we have a class for Criminal Law 2 later?

Classmate 2: No, our professor won't be holding class today.

Classmate 1: Really? Why is that?

Classmate 2: Why, do I look like someone who will cut classes?

And I said to myself, Jesus, I'd do anything to look just like you.

Another lesson learned.

The Breadfruit

What I learned today in Obligations and Contracts:

There is such a thing as breadfruit, a close cousin of the jackfruit. For two hours I thought and felt I was in the wrong class, which was a Botany class. The discussion went far, far enough to tackle the components of a good fertilizer. I was waiting for the kind professor to talk more about the breadfruit. I was not disappointed.

Here's a good look at a breadfruit. It really is a fruit. It does not look like bread to me, but what the hell.

Another lesson learned.